Truth or Dare: Naruto Edition
by 14shiffna
Summary: Join Ender, Shiffna, and Kurenai (not the sensei Kurenai, different Kurenai) brutally murder- I mean, uh, invite the cast of Naruto over to play some Truth or Dare, as submitted by you all! Will they fall under the crippling weight of the ridiculous dares or crack under the pressure of the revealing truths? You send them in, so you decide!
1. Chapter 1

**Hi guys! So I know I haven't updated my Naruto story in a while and I'm sorry, but I decided that I'll do this as a side kind of thing. Welcome to the opening chapter of the Naruto Truth or Dare, inspired by Mr. Insaneguy's ToDs on animes and currently, Super Smash Bros. Here are the rules. I will allow perverted things, but they may not be written very well or the focus will be on other characters that leave the room while it happens maybe. There will be references to Mr. Insaneguy as well as potential alcohol references. You are allowed to enter a max of ten dares and ten truths a chapter. I guess there is nothing else to say. Let's go ahead and murder everybody!**

The day _had _started fine in Konoha but had slowly deteriorated into a raging storm. Strangely, it happened in mere minutes, leaving Naruto no time to get home, seeing as he didn't want to get drenched. Explaining it to Hinata over the phone, he crashed in his chair. A quick three raps sounded at the door and Shikamaru poked his head in.

"Hey, Naruto, I'm heading home," he said.

"In this weather?" Naruto asked. Shikamaru simply nodded. "Alright, just don't catch a cold," Naruto joked.

"I won't. See you tomorrow Naruto," Shikamaru said before leaving the room. Naruto leaned back and sighed, right before a large clap of thunder knocked out the lights in his office.

"Dangit… screw it," Naruto was going to see if he could flick the lights on and off to get them back on, but decided against it. Another clap of thunder sounded and a flash of lightning and a figure cloaked in black appeared in the back of the room. Naruto shot up and his gaze leveled on the figure.

"Hey! Who's there?" The figure remained quiet and unmoving. Another clap of thunder and flash of lightning and the figure moved to the other side of the room, closer to Naruto's desk. Naruto slyly pulled a kunai out of his pocket as another clap and flash brought the figure closer. Another clap and flash brought the figure right in front of Naruto's desk suddenly. Naruto fell backward into his chair. One final clap and flash and the figure's hand was clamped over Naruto's mouth. Beneath the mask, a sadistic smile gleamed as the figure thrust a knife into Naruto's throat.

0-0-0-0-0

The rain had poured down heavy on Shikamaru's umbrella, almost soaking through it. So when he got to the darkened door of his house, he was immensely relieved. He unlocked the door with his key and found the house quiet. He moved farther into the darkened house and lit a candle. As he moved through the rooms, he was going to stop in the living room and read a book awhile before going to the Hell that is bed with Temari, but he didn't get any farther than two steps into the living room. Shikamaru stopped dead in his tracks as he laid eyes on the figure standing above his wife, who had a stab mark in the back of her head and wasn't moving. The figure's kunai dripped with a thick liquid, which looked red in the candlelight. The candle dropped, alerting the killer to Shikamaru's presence.

"Ah, there you are," the chilling words crawled up Shikamaru's spine as if the killer was right behind him. But when his eyes refocused on the figure, it was gone. Suddenly, Shikamaru felt a burning pain in his back. The killer's gloved hand found his shoulder and pushed him to the ground. Shikamaru felt his life quickly ebbing from him, and his mind raced for an answer.

_Poison. This is poison, _Shikamaru thought as he blacked out. Another flash of lightning and the killer disappeared, leaving the bodies of the two on the floor for Shikadai to find in the morning.

0-0-0-0-0

Hinata was feeling very sore that morning. Her body had been ready to snuggle with Naruto, and when she had learned he wasn't able to come home, she slept in discomfort. As she poured herself a cup of coffee to wake up, the news came over the television.

"Discovered in his office, early this morning, Hokage Naruto Uzumaki was found dead, as well as his Adviser, Shikamaru Nara. Both incidents are thought to be connected, as well as the deaths of other citizens such as Sasuke Uchiha, Sakura Haruno, Choji Akimichi, Rock Lee, Ten-Ten, and Kakashi Hatake. These were all some of the greatest ninjas of their time and worked to take down large threats such as the Akatsuki, Madara Uchiha, Kaguya, and win the Fourth Great Shinobi War. A moment of silence for these great monuments," the reporter paused a moment and sniffled before looking back up.

"Officials are still looking into the murders but it seems like they were conducted late last night, during the storm. Many of them seem to have been sneak attacks conducted with a kunai knife. Many officials are saying this could be a revolution. Although, some murders look like the victim had put up a struggle, some such as Rock Lee, Sasuke Uchiha, and Kakashi Hatake. These three were killed by multiple forms of Jutsus, the most notable being Kakashi Hatake, who had his Jutsu, Lightning Blade, used on him," Hinata's mug, after Hinata got over her paralyzation, dropped to the floor and shattered. She fell to her knees, ignoring the cutting of the glass shards. Her sob caught in her throat and struggled to get out.

"Yeah, no need to cry," Hinata shut up quickly as the voice sounded. It was the same voice from the night before, although without the rain pounding on the tin and wooden roofs of the homes, it sounded much more child-like. Hinata shakily lifted her head to see the child sitting on her counter, swinging his feet. He smiled and held out a hand to her.

"This part should be short. I don't want to risk Himawari or Boruto waking up and see me brutally murdering you. I have a moral compass," Hinata could merely stare in shock as her body began to turn to dust and fly into the boy's hand. The boy then went about dusting up the shards of Hinata's cup. He then disappeared without a trace, leaving behind a teddy bear for Himawari and a video game for Boruto with a note explaining a bit about Hinata.

0-0-0-0-0

Kiba slammed the phone into the ground and stomped on it, shouting angrily and saying incomprehensible words.

"Kiba calm down, maybe she's on her way and forgot her phone," Shino suggested.

"Dammit Shino, this is serious! She could be dead by now!" Kiba yelled back at his old partner. There were six (seven if you count the dog) people assembled in the woods meeting area. Kiba and Akamaru and Shino were three, along with Sai, Ino, Gaara, and Kankuro. They were discussing what to do and were waiting up on Hinata.

"Will you two stop arguing? I'm with Shino she's probably-" Ino was cut off as two kunai rammed into her back at full force, pushing her forward, and making her let loose a cry. Sai caught her before she fell completely, but she was dead by then, killed by the fast-acting poison coated on the knives. Everyone assembled into a battle stance, Gaara unplugging his mini gourd, Akamaru and Kiba assuming defensive stances, Sai pulling out his short sword (or whatever his little knife is called), and Shino and Kankuro pulling out kunai.

"Who's there?" Kiba yelled, Akamaru barking alongside him. An unsheathing sound came from the dark woods, and a figure came charging out of the darkness. The child couldn't have been older than twelve, but he came at them with such speed, Gaara's sand barely had time to react.

It blocked the katana slash and retaliated by throwing the child into a tree.

The child hit the ground with a grunt and looked back up to see Sai advancing on him, blade flying out behind him.

As Sai came in for the stab, the child rolled to the side, letting Sai ram his knife into the tree.

The child followed up quickly with a return jab, piercing Sai right through both lungs.

Sai cried out and passed out, dying quickly.

Not having enough time to retract the blade, the child pulled out a kunai and stabbed it into the throat of the lunging Akamaru and rolled backward, kicking the dog behind him and retracting the kunai at the same time.

He rolled back up and threw the kunai with lightning speed into Kiba's throat.

Gaara's sand lashed out at the child, hitting a log instead due to the substitution Jutsu. The child reappeared above Shino.

He rammed the kunai into the back of Shino's head. He disappeared again.

He reappeared in front of Kankuro, slamming another kunai into Kankuro's forehead. The child's gaze leveled on Gaara and he sunk into the ground. Gaara, upon realizing the attack, jumped into a tree. Instead of coming out of the ground like Gaara thought he would though, the child flew out of the tree right at Gaara.

Gaara sidestepped and his sand whipped the boy across the back sending him flying to another tree. The boy stood up shakily and turned to look at Gaara.

"I don't have time for this," he said, before holding out his hand and sucking Gaara into it as he did to Hinata before.

0-0-0-0-0

Naruto woke up with a start; Hinata snuggled firmly against his arm.

_That's… weird. I could've sworn I didn't come home from the office last night, _Naruto thought, before finally realizing that it wasn't his house he was in. The walls were… he honestly didn't know how to put it. Slowly, he extricated himself from Hinata's grip and threw on a shirt next to him on a nightstand. Slowly, he creaked open the sturdy door that separated his and Hinata's room from the outside hallway. Peering down both sides of the long hallway, Naruto decided the coast was clear and went towards the stairs that were at the end of his section of the hallway. Looking down, he saw that he was in some strange, large cabin. To his left, on the other side of the walkway, which was held up by giant logs, was a small sitting area, looking over a cliff at a snow-covered valley. To his right, there was the crackle of a fire. Situated around the stone fireplace, were two couches and a small loveseat. The couches were facing each other and the loveseat faced the fire. Above the fire, a large TV stood, although it was not being used. Behind the small living room, a large area full of arcade games, game systems, pool, air hockey and such stood. Behind both of those areas, there was a very large what looked to be a kitchen, with a serving window and everything and a counter on the outside. A dining room stood off to the side of the hexagonal kitchen (the serving window was facing the stairs). In the viewing area looking over the cliff, there was a door off to the left. Finally, Naruto's eyes drifted over to the two figures on the couch, both engrossed in a strange game that involved oddly engraved black and white pieces moving on a board. The figure closest to Naruto was a… yellow triangle with a black top hat. The second figure, facing Naruto, was a young child, no older than twelve, who had a black sweatshirt, black sweatpants, a black mask like Kakashi's, with snow-white hair and blood-red eyes. He had a pack on his thigh that looked like it held kunai, a katana strapped across his back, and a strange contraption on his left forearm that held three shurikens. The boy's eyes flickered up a moment and settled on Naruto, giving him an uneasy feeling.

"Ah, apologies Bill, it looks like we'll have to cut this short. I believe it's time to wake up my… _players_," the child said to the triangle, Bill.

"Alright, but I'll beat you next time," Bill said before floating upwards. "Remember, reality is an illusion, the universe is a hologram, buy gold, byyyyyyyye!" Bill winked out of the plane of existence in the blink of an eye after uttering his famous phrase.

"That demon is very repetitive. Ah, I'm just like him. Please, please, come sit down Naruto, I'm sure you're wondering why you're here," the child snapped his fingers and suddenly Naruto was on the couch opposite him. The child clapped his hands and suddenly there was a cup of tea in front of Naruto.

"I just kinda thought you'd like that. Before I wake the others I just wish to… revel in the silence, y'know?" The child asked. The small area lapsed into complete silence, save for the crackling of the fire. The child finally looked contempt and clapped twice. Slowly, with a lot of groaning, a lot of people woke up. They would've gone back to bed, if not for the fact that there were several sharp looking weapons aiming at all of them with a message to get up and go downstairs. So, quickly, the inhabitants dressed and rushed down the stairs, only to be met with the confusing sight of Naruto drinking tea with a masked child.

"Um… Naruto, do you know this kid?" Shikamaru asked. Naruto merely shrugged.

"All will be explained in the basement!" The kid said in a terrible British accent before jumping up and running to the door to the left of the viewing area.

"Follow me!" he yelled. Reluctantly, the cast followed, down into the dark winding stairwell that lit as they went. The walls were roughhewn stone, but the stairs were wooden. Eventually, the cast began to hear grunts and the sound of metal clanging against stone. The cast made it just in time to see the ending to a training session. Two boys about the same height, wearing eerily similar garb were sparring. One, who had a scarf, sandals, sweatpants, and a black and purple hoodie, wielded a katana. He had a Hidden Leaf headband wrapped around his forehead. The second one had a black and purple hoodie, a mask like Kakashi's, with his hood, pulled up. He also had midnight blue jeans with some simple sneakers and he wielded a stone spear with no tip. The scarf one came in with a quick slash to the masked ones left, which was parried by his spear. The force of the slash was so strong that the katana rebounded out of the scarfed boy's hands. Taking the opportunity, the masked one used his spear to sweep the other boy off his feet. The masked one pointed his spear at the other's face, and magically, a tip grew from it.

"You lose. Again," the masked boy said.

"I always lose! How are you so good?" The other boy asked.

"I've been around longer than you have, so I've had more experience," said the masked boy.

"Fair," the other boy answered. They both finally seemed to notice the child and the cast of Naruto and sheepishly smiled.

"Sorry. Practicing," the masked said while rubbing the back of his head.

"Isn't that Naruto's move? To rub the back of his head?" the boy with the scarf asked.

"You do it too," the masked one replied.

"Fair,"

"*ahem*, Anyway, the Naruto cast is here for a little Truth or Dare," the child leading the group said, causing both other boys to groan.

"Why must you subject them to this torture? Ted has it covered," the masked one asked.

"Because he doesn't have the attention span to watch Naruto, now shut your whining ass up and stop sparring so we can tell the rules," the child answered.

"Jeez, don't have to be so mean about it," the masked one said.

"I have to be mean about it! For comedic effect!" The child answered.

"Is that why you keep calling yourself "The Child"?" The masked one asked.

"Well, you have the masked one, and he has the other boy… okay, we're getting off track here, you guys go sit around the room, facing me, okay?" The child asked. The cast went to sit around the room and faced the child as he clapped. In front of their eyes, the stone wall dropped, revealing another overlook of the snowy forest. The two boys stood on either side of the child as a podium rose to his level.

"*ahem*, before I address the cast of Naruto, I would like to address the viewers. If you are wondering why I took this long to reveal my name… I have no answer for you. And one more thing, the cursing will ramp up in the next chapters, maybe not from these two, but definitely from me," the child looked down from the hypothetical camera he had been looking at to face the cast of Naruto. "Next order of business, my name is 14shiffna, but I insist you call me Shiffna. These are my characters, Ender and Ender. In my defense, I am bad at naming, so, there. But for now, since this is the original, we'll call him Ender," 14shiffna pointed to the masked one, "and refer to him as Kurenai," 14shiffna then gestured to the one with the scarf. "To continue, these two are the same personality. So, for the story's sake, I will give them new personalities. Ender will be the edge lord who doesn't give a fuck about anything and is constantly annoyed,"

"Why?!" Ender protested.

"And Kurenai will be the good one that is hilarious. Hopefully, these two can play off each other pretty well," Shiffna said.

"Well, what does that make you?" Kurenai asked.

"Me? I'm the crazy sadist. Me and Bob are so alike!" Shiffna said in mock amazement.

"Wow, this is gonna be _soooo _much fun," Ender said.

"Hm… I'll let you keep your sarcasm," Shiffna decided. "Anyway, the next order of business, a welcome to the cast of Naruto, to Truth or Dare: Naruto Edition!" Shiffna's excited announcement was met with crickets.

"You killed us, brought us here, just to play TRUTH OR DARE?!" Ino huffed. Choji and Shikamaru raced to grab on to her, but in a flash, she was charging at Shiffna. Shiffna yawned, snapped, and immediately a thousand crossbows were pointing at her, stopping her dead in her tracks. Drops of sweat appeared on her forehead as she sheepishly smiled, closed her eyes, and put up her hands in a placating gesture.

"See, I was just kidding about that," she then slowly started to walk back to her spot. Shiffna snapped again and the crossbows were gone.

"You see, I have this little thing called Author's Magic. What that translates into is, I can do whatever the hell I want!" Shiffna proclaimed excitedly. "Now, I will usually only use it to hop universes, perform a dare, or send you to Super Hell, which Ted is so generously letting me borrow," Shiffna mockingly sighed lovingly.

"Uh, question, what's Super Hell?" Naruto asked.

"Y'know what Hell is?" Shiffna asked back. Everyone in the room nodded.

"Imagine that only a thousand times worse," Shiffna said.

"Aren't we getting a little off track here?" Ender asked annoyed.

"I think this is wonderful!" Kurenai responded.

"Wow, didn't expect your new personalities to kick in that quick. Yeah, I guess I am getting off track. Well, since you all know what Truth or Dare is, let me explain the rules to you. First, Dares and Truths will be submitted by the readers of this story, in the reviews section or by PMing me. Now, real quickly, this is a story I am transcribing, that's why I said, readers. This is what's called a FanFiction, and viewers from will be sending in dares and truths. Keep in mind, FanFiction reviewers are some of _the most_ depraved people on the internet, so if you end up sleeping with someone who isn't your husband or wife, don't blame me! *ahem* Secondly, if you don't comply with a dare or truth, you'll be sent to Super Hell. Check out the dive bar down there as well. Pit makes some bad-ass drinks. Oh, and if you're wondering who Pit is, just look for the angel behind the counter. Tell him Shiffna sent you and he'll know who it is. Next, I don't like being the shortest person in the room. Everyone's getting aged down," before the Naruto characters had a chance to protest, Shiffna snapped his fingers and everyone was suddenly their twelve-year-old selves, even Kakashi, who looked adorable (in Shiffna's opinion).

"Hey, change us back!" Naruto yelled, pointing with his newly reformed right arm.

"Okay, but you'll lose your arm again," Shiffna said. Naruto thought it over again then changed his mind. "That's what I thought. Anyway, guys, that's the introduction chapter I guess. Send in your dares and truths, remember a maximum of ten each, and I'll get the next chapter out as soon as I can. Deadline to send in dares is… let's say Friday, January 31st, 5:00 P.M. Eastern Standard Time. All right, see you all later, buh-bye!" Shiffna said bye to the hypothetical camera as it faded to black, leaving the Naruto cast to go about their business.


	2. Groundon Mah Boi!

**Whoooooo! I was about to give up on this project, but Groundon, mah boi, you gave me hope! Now, this will be an admittedly short chapter, but, who knows, maybe I'll throw in my own dares. Alright, so this wasn't really liked by you guys, I think, but, enjoy!**

It was almost noon in the lakeside cabin, and, luckily for the Naruto cast, there had been no dares. Yet. Ender and Kurenai were, unfortunately, still in their new personality states, and were constantly bickering. Shiffna was sitting on one of the couches, the always lit fire roaring beside him. Tinny music played from his ear buds as he scrolled through something. His eyes widened and he jumped up.  
"Yes, Groundon, mah boi, you pulled through, thank you!" Shiffna started hopping up and down excitedly, before he took another look at the laptop. "Oh, and you brought your helium fetish, yes!" The last part bewildered everyone. For a brief moment of clarity, Ender snapped out of his new personality.

"Oh, that guy… he's the first one to review… well, whoever gets pumped full of helium, Rest in Pepperonis," Ender said before he reverted back to his new personality.

"Wait, pumped full of-" Naruto was cut off violently as Shiffna snapped, putting everyone underwater. Luckily, they could still breathe.

"No point in not starting now. I'm bad at introductory sequences anyway," Shiffna said his voice perfectly clear. "Anyway, Cthulhu! C'mere boy! If you're wondering why I'm acting like Cthulhu is a dog, don't ask, it's easier," Shiffna cast a sideways glance at the hypothetical camera before a large shadow began to appear on the horizon.

"Uh, what's that?" Hinata asked, hiding behind Naruto.

"Oh, Naruto has to fight that thing," Shiffna said.

"WHAT!? ARE YOU CRAZY!?" Naruto yelled.

"Maybe… but relax, I'll age you up to your old self, and you can use Kurama," Shiffna said. The figure slid to a stop, giving the group a very good look at it. It had the body of a human, the head of an octopus, and bat wings.

"I don't wanna fight that thing!" Naruto yelled. Shiffna snapped, and immediately Naruto was aged up. Shiffna stepped back with the rest of the group and put up a barely seeable barrier.

"3… 2… 1… GO!" Shiffna did his best interpretation of the announcer's voice from Smash, and Cthulhu let out a roar. Naruto activated… well, everything, to even give him a fighting chance. He began to charge up a powerful Rasengan, but began to… deteriorate, would be the best word.

"N-Naruto… what are you doing," Hinata asked, pressing up against the barrier. Shiffna smiled, snapped, and took a handful of the crunchy popcorn that had now appeared.  
"Wh-what's h-happening to me!" Naruto screamed, before a flying tentacle pierced him in the heart.

"NARUTO!" Hinata screamed, while everyone else either looked like they were about to puke, or scream, or fight, or all three. Shiffna began to spin around, cackling. Hinata, tears flowing down her face, turned on him.

"Why would you do that!?" Hinata's normally quiet and strong voice cracked.

"Hey, hey, in my defense, that was Cthulhu's doing. Thanks bud!" Shiffna waved Cthulhu off, who left with a roar. "*ahem* Now, we need to go back to the cabin. Let's go!" Shiffna opened a portal this time.

"Wait, why are we going through a portal?" Shikamaru asked.

"Cause we're cutting to another segment," Shiffna answered simply.

0-0-0-0-0

The disgruntled and pained Naruto stumbled into the broken down dive bar, where he found a plethora of odd figures, such as the group in the back playing a card game, one of them with a small mustache, the other with some sort of towel around his head, yet another looking similar, but not similar to Naruto. He had squinty eyes and was large, but he looked to be of the same race as him. At the bar, two men were having a heated discussion, one of them dressed in grey cotton clothes, the other in a sharp suit. They both looked very important and somewhat regal, but the most interesting thing was the dressed in all-white human behind the bar drying glasses, looking annoyed as an older man in an orange suit threw compliments at him. Oh, and then Naruto noticed the wings behind the human… confusedly, Naruto stepped closer to the counter. The angel's eyes lifted and leveled on Naruto with a confused look.

"Uh… you must be new here, right? Uh, anyway, what can I get ya?" The angel asked.

"Uh, are you Pit? Shiffna told us about you," Naruto asked.

"Uh… 14shiffna… how do you know him?" Pit asked.

"Oh, uh, my name's Naruto. Shiffna killed and kidnapped me and some of my friends for a Truth or Dare game. He said if we ever come down here, look for an angel named Pit," Naruto said.

"Ah, I get it… okay, well, tell him I send my regards. And uh… thanks for not being too much of a sadist to me," Pit whispered the last part to Naruto.

"Oh don't worry Pit, you're next on my list," Shiffna disappeared from the counter almost as suddenly as he appeared, leaving with a chilling chuckle. He left Pit whimpering and Naruto spooked.

"Well, anyway… what can I get ya?" Pit asked.

"Hm… an uh, Sunrise Tequila?" Naruto asked.

"Sure, coming right up," Pit said.

0-0-0-0-0

Shiffna stepped back through the portal he had made, and cleared his throat.

"Sorry, just had to go and spook Pit a bit. Anyway, next dare," Shiffna snapped and a pump appeared in his hands. He tossed it to Hinata, who caught it and fumbled, before eventually just dropping it.

"Did we revive Neji yet? Hang on," Shiffna's body went gray as he seemed to disconnect from the reality. Shiffna came back a moment later after traveling backwards in time to see if Neji was there. "Alright, so we haven't revived him yet… be right back," Shiffna said, before opening a portal of pure light and stepping through. A moment later, a body flew through the portal, screaming, and hit the kitchen countertop.

"NEJI!" Hinata rushed over to her brother to check if he was alright.

"I'm okay Hinata… Hinata?" As his eyes finally comprehended the sight, and he saw the others, a small smile broke out on his face. Hinata fell into a hug on Neji before helping him up. Shiffna let everyone have their moment before clearing his throat again.

"Alright, Hinata, your dare is to pump Neji, Sasuke, and yourself with helium," Shiffna said.

"Um, who are you?" Neji asked.

"Long story short? I killed everyone here and brought them here to play Truth or Dare, as submitted by perverted FanFiction reviewers. I brought you back for a dare, but I'm sure there will be more dares for you later on," Shiffna said.

"Not on my watch," Neji said, before activating his Byakugaan.

"Yawn," Shiffna said before snapping and opening a portal to Super Hell under Neji's feet. Neji popped back out a moment later, visibly shaken.

"Ya still wanna fight?" Shiffna asked, to which Neji hurriedly shook his head no. "Good. Hinata, start pumping," Hinata reluctantly stuck the pump in Neji's mouth, who, I forgot to mention, is his kid self. They're all their kid selves. I think it's funnier that way.

"Sorry Neji," Hinata said as she started to pump. Neji kept his regular form, but he began to float into the air.

"Woah, this is weird… and what's up with my voice!" Neji said, as his voice got higher in pitch. Hinata did it to Sasuke next, who was very against it, but didn't want to go to Super Hell. And finally, Hinata did it to herself, leaving us with three floating bodies.

"Sasuke, what's it like up there?" Sakura asked, but there was no response.

"Sasuke?" Shikamaru asked.

"Wait, hold up," Shiffna opened a portal and stepped through.

"HEY! That's my pulse sensor!"

"Chill, chill, I'll give it back, Jesus,"

"INTRUDER ALERT! INTURDER ALERT!" Alarms went off and the sound of bullets whizzed through the air. Shiffna jumped through and closed the portal behind him hurriedly. He heaved a sigh and took the device and flipped down the camera. Looking at Neji, Hinata, and Sasuke thoroughly, he then put up the camera, reopened the portal, and tossed the device in.

"There assholes!" Shiffna yelled as he closed it. "*ahem* Anyway, it would appear Sasuke, Hinata, and Neji are dead," Shiffna said with ease.

"Wait what!?" Was the general reaction.

"Yeah, uh, helium kills you if you take too much of it… who knew… bah, we need Sasuke back at least, we'll bring 'em all back," Shiffna snapped his fingers and all three of them took a deep breath.

"We're alive!" Hinata squeaked. Sasuke began to float back to the ground.

"What the…?" Sasuke stared at the ground and listened to his voice as everything went back to normal.

"We need you for another dare, so, you get off the hook for now," Shiffna said.

"Next order of business, Choji… wait, hang on," Shiffna opened yet another portal and stepped through. "Ted!"

"Jesus Christ Shiffna! The fuck do you want!?"

"Are you doing a Session right now?"

"No, why?"

"I need to borrow Kirby,"

"Uh, sure, go ahead,"

"Thanks," Shiffna closed that portal and opened another, stepping through and coming back with a pink puffball with eyes and a mouth.

"Alright, Choji, you're gonna have an eating contest with this thing," Shiffna said.

"Aright, easy win for me!" Choji said. Shiffna then turned to the camera.

"Foreshadowing. I'ma twists this a little Groundon, alright? *ahem* Loser goes to Super Hell," Shiffna said.

"Aw man, now I feel bad about sending this little guy to Super Hell," Choji said.

"I could just send you straight there now," Shiffna said.

"I'm alright, survival of the fittest, y'know? No hard feelings, right little guy?"

"Poyo!"

"Alright, let's get ready," Shiffna put down Kirby and clapped, creating a stage with two small tables, Choji at one, Kirby at the other.

"Alright ladies and gentlemen, we are here at the first ever 14shiffna ToD Eating Contest. Our competitors are Choji Akimichi, and Kirby… he doesn't have a last name, whaddya want me to say, puffball?" The invisible crowd roared earsplittingly loud, and startled the actual, visible spectators.

"Alright, for Round one, the competitors will be eating… drum roll please… pizza!" A mound of pizza was spawned in front of each competitor, and their mouths watered at the sight.

"Ready… Set… GO!" Shiffna let his arm fall, and Choji began to shovel pizza into his mouth. His eyes fell to his side as he heard a sucking sound, and they widened when they saw Kirby literally inhaling the pizzas. As a result, Choji hands went into auto drive, matching Kirby's speed. It came down to the last pizza, and Kirby, in the nick of time, inhaled his last slice, and gave a burp. The invisible crowd roared once again as Kirby smiled and waved.

"Round two, our competitors will be eating… Bean Boozled Jelly Beans! Only the flavors are a thousand times better or worse," Kirby whined as he thought back to what had happened to him before, but brightened a bit at what Shiffna said next.

"But, only one competitor will get the good ones. The other will get all the bad ones," Shiffna said.

"Sounds easy, gimme a real challenge," Choji said. Shiffna smirked, and snapped, putting two bowls in front of Choji and Kirby.

"Ready… Set… GO!" Shiffna let his arm fall again and Kirby and Choji both took a tentative bite of one jelly bean. Kirby's eyes lit up and he began to inhale the Jelly Beans, meanwhile Choji gagged and grimaced. Squeezing his eyes shut, Choji began to shovel mouthfuls of the Jelly Beans in, the taste getting worse each bite and handful. Eventually, the last Jelly Bean was eaten, and Choji earned the point for Round Two. Choji smiled, raised his arm weakly, then leaned over the side and puked, violently.

"Alright, well, on to Round three. Both competitors will be eating… Carolina Reapers! Let's not prolong this any longer, Ready… Set… GO!" Shiffna's arm fell and both competitors took a tentative bite. Kirby turned entirely red, and went through a flashy transformation, turning him into Fire Kirby. The mysterious voice that had taken over as narrator disappeared, as Shiffna shooed away the Kirby anime Meta Knight. Choji's mouth lit on fire, and flames spewed forth, but both of them continued to eat. Finally, on the last pepper, Kirby inhaled his, but Choji couldn't finish his last.

"The point goes to Kirby! On to Round four-"

"How many more rounds are there," Choji whined.

"This one and then one more… anyway, Round four, both competitors will be eating… uh, let's say some bugs," Shiffna snapped and two plates with hundreds of bugs on them appeared in front of the two competitors. Choji and Kirby both groaned as Shiffna started the match. Both of them took a tentative bite, but only Kirby seemed to somewhat like the bugs. He half-heartedly inhaled the whole thing, leaving Choji in the dust.

"And the score is three to one! Oh man, sorry Choji, but even if you win this next round, you're going to Super Hell. Anyway, Round five, our competitors will be eating this cactus," Shiffna snapped and two plants appeared in front of Kirby and Choji.

"Uh, okay?" Choji said.

"Ready… Set… GO!" Shiffna's arm fell and Choji took a bite. Immediately his mouth was hurting, like something was stabbing it in multiple places. Choji spat it out, violently coughing. Kirby just inhaled the damn thing, and went through another transformation, turning him into-

"Spike Kirby," Anime Meta Knight said, appearing at the door again.

"Meta Knight, shoo, you're cool and all, but go, please," Shiffna said.

"Apologies," Meta Knight Dimensional Cape'd away. Choji was groaning on the floor, and as Shiffna stepped over him to get to Kirby, groaned even more.

"We have a winner!" The invisible crowd roared as Shiffna held up Kirby's stub of an arm. "Choji, come on up here and face your punishment like a man," Shiffna said. Painfully, Choji stood up, before puking all over the table. "Let it out… let it all out," Shiffna said, rubbing Choji's back like a mother. Eventually, Choji stopped and Shiffna continued. "Anyway, like I said, the loser goes to Super Hell. Have fun Choji," Shiffna said. As Choji sunk into the portal, dragged down by the souls of the Damned, Choji flipped off Shiffna. Shiffna chuckled before turning to the camera.

"Groundon, if this didn't go the way you liked it, or any of your other dares, I'm sorry. This is my first ToD fic that actually got some dares (the last time I tried this it was with Avengers), but, I hope you enjoyed my spin of things," Shiffna said. "Now, we cut to the next segment,"

0-0-0-0-0

Choji stumbled into the bar filled with the dead people and saw Naruto and a winged person having a lively chat at the counter. Stumbling over, Choji slumped into a seat next to Naruto.

"Wow, Choji, what happened to you?" Naruto asked.

"This one of your friends?" The angel asked.

"Yeah, this is Choji," Naruto responded. "Choji, this is Pit, the angle bartender Shiffna told us to look for if we ever came down here,"

"Ohhhhhh," Choji said.

"Anyway, what happened to you?' Naruto asked.

"Well, I had to have an eating contest with some alien named Kirby," Choji said.

"Oh, ohoho, man, I feel bad for you," Pit said.

"You know him?" Choji asked.

"Yeah. Here, let me explain. Me and Kirby are not from the same world, but we are in the same tournament. You see, there's this tournament/universe defense force called the Super Smash Brothers, where heroes and villain, such as me and my Goddess, Lady Palutena, and my clone/brother Dark Pit, or Kirby and his mentor Meta Knight and King Dedede, or people like Mega man, Mario, Link, Zelda, Ganondorf… do you know them?" Pit asked as Naruto and Choji stared at him with confused looks. "Hm… alright, then I guess our universes are different… anyway, us all, heroes and villains alike, duke it out on maps or different landmarks from our worlds, to see who is the best. It's always really awesome, and a great way to establish ties with people who don't even come from your world. Oh man, I can't tell you how many interesting people I've met… okay, well, some of them are just plain scary…" Pit trailed off a moment and shuddered as a certain purple dragon flashed in his mind's eyes. "Anyway, I'm rambling. Me, Kirby, and this guy named Ike, and one other guy named Wario are known as the Big Four, and by Big Four, I mean Big Four Eaters. We've had countless eating competitions, and the winner is always different. Anyway, the point I'm getting at is, Kirby has a literal universe for a stomach. No kidding, I've been in it outside of matches, he has a literal universe," Pit rambled a moment before Naruto stopped him.

"Wait, then why are you down here?" Naruto asked.

"Oh, well lately, we've been kidnapped by this guy named Ted, and he's been forcing us to do Truth or Dare. Actually, 14shiffna is a prominent darer for us, and he's kinda sadistic… and perverted somewhat. A-anyway, Ted is where he probably got the idea to do a ToD with you guys. But the reason I'm down here is because of a dare. I had to make a deal with the devil, or Ted, and as a result, I ended up loaning my soul, so while one of the regular worker demons here is on vacation, I'm here, and I work the night shift. Super Hell is Ted's place, Shiffna's probably just borrowing it," Pit explained.

"That was a chunk," Naruto said.

"And it's gonna be a bitch to transcribe," Shiffna said, appearing suddenly at the countertop again. "Alright, go back to what you all were doing, talk to you guys later," Shiffna said before snapping open a portal and stepping through.

0-0-0-0-0

Shiffna stepped back through the portal and cleared his throat. "Alright, let's get moving to the next dare," Shiffna said. Sasuke, you get to let out some rage that may have been burdening you. You get to kill the council members who ordered Itachi to destroy the Uchiha!" Shiffna said.

"But… why? I've let go of that rage and I understand why Itachi did it. Besides, Danzo is already dead," Sasuke protested.

"Hm… yeah, I guess you're right. Plus, I really don't wanna have to transcribe a fight scene. I suck at 'em… Hm… alright, sorry Groundon, I think I'm gonna have to skip this one, sorry mate. Sasuke brings up some good points. I guess we'll just do these last few dares then call it a day," Shiffna said. Shiffna then snapped, teleporting the group to the edge of a volcano.

"Okay, Sai, jump into this," Shiffna said.

"Are you crazy?" Sai asked.

"… I always say maybe, but, yes, definitely, I am crazy," Shiffna said. "Listen, there's no point in trying to not do this dare, either way you'll end up in Super Hell," Shiffna said.

"Okay, nope, my husband is not jumping into a volcano!" Ino said, standing in front of Sai.

"I have something for you, so chill," Shiffna said.

"Sai, what'll be? Here, actually, think of it this way, you don't do this, Groundon will probably keep daring people to do this," Shiffna said.

"Wait, so that helium thing was a one-time deal… right?" Hinata squeaked, being held onto by Shikamaru with Neji being held onto by Sakura.

"Oh no, that's Groundon's fetish, you can expect much more of that," Shiffna said.

"Alright, fine, I'll jump," Sai said.

"Okay. By the way, you return to bed every morning, so, find some solace in that maybe?" Shiffna said.

"Thanks," Sai rolled his eyes before hopping off the ledge, a lot more suddenly than everyone expected.

"Is it just me, or has the pacing kinda… slowed down?" Shikamaru asked.

"Oh, it definitely has. I've been working on this damn thing since like, noon. It's 4:30 now. I'm getting lazy. Okay, Sakura, you can no longer hit Naruto… I might disable that sometime. Ino, you're now a chicken,"

"Wait what-" Ino was cut off as there was a pop and poof of smoke and now in her place was a chicken. Ino looked around strangely and tried walking. While she was distracted, Shiffna picked her up, and tossed her over the edge of the volcano.

"INO!" Hinata yelled.

"The Hell did you do that for!?" Sakura yelled.

"Uhm, because she wanted to be with Sai?" Shiffna answered.

"Bullshit," Shikamaru said.

"… I'm too tired for this shit anymore. Alright, we're gonna leave it there. Let's go home," Shiffna snapped open a portal and the remainder of the Naruto cast followed.

**Again, terribly sorry that this probably didn't play out the way you wanted it Groundon. Bob and Ted are better and I will never top them, trust me. But, if you want to keep reviewing, go right ahead. I loved writing this! And that goes for anyone else. We could have much more fun chapters if you all just review, please, I beg of you. I'll take as many reviews as I can, but if you review and don't get featured in the next chapter, apologies, I just couldn't get to you. Anyway, hope you all liked it, I'm gonna go see if I can play on mah Xbox. Peace!**


	3. Hinata Dies To A Kirby Boss

**Hello! It's been… over a month, maybe. Thank you Groundon for reviewing again, you are singlehandedly keeping this ship afloat. After this, it'll be back to MHA. Remember, please review or PM me with dares or truths if you want to. I'm honestly open to everything. Anyway, here we go.**

"Back at it again at the Krispy Kreme," Shiffna said before pressing a play button on his phone that started to play a video all throughout the cabin on hidden speakers. It was on full volume, and after a small bit of the song, it went bass-boosted. Shiffna cackled as he heard the groaning and the yelling of "Make it stop!" coming from both the Naruto cast and his OCs. Ender came stumbling down the stairs, holding his hands to his ears.

"WHY'D YOU GOTTA PLAY THE SOVIET NATIONAL ANTHEM ON EARRAPE!?" Ender yelled.

"Cause why not?" Shiffna yelled back. Finally, the anthem finished and the Naruto cast trudged downstairs.

"So, how'd you guys like it. Pretty good, right?" Shiffna asked.

"Fuck you," Was the general consensus, even the mild-mannered characters saying it.

"Heh, yeah, I know. Anyway, before we start this session, I gotta grab a few people, be right back," Shiffna said before opening a portal and stepping through. The portal was one of glowing light, and he soon stepped back out with three people behind him. The first one had yellow hair and a Kage cape draped over his shoulders. The second person had red hair and she wore a green dress over what I assume would be a plain white dress shirt. The last person had black hair and she looked vaguely like Sasuke. She wore a tan… I honestly don't even know what it's called, over a purple long sleeve. They all looked so confused but rejoiced at seeing their children.

"Alright, I'll be right back again," Shiffna said before opening another portal, this one made of red light.

"NOOOOoooooOOOOOooooOoOoOo-" An unearthly howl was cut off by what sounded like the slicing of flesh. A horned head wearing a metal mask rolled out of the portal and stopped at Shiffna's feet. Shiffna picked it up by the horn and held it up to the air, and then spoke to the air.

"I think Itachi committed enough sins in his life to go to Hell, fight me Groundon," Shiffna said before drop-kicking the head back into Hell, following it in. As Shiffna walked in, he was greeted by the sight of Doom Guy putting shells into his shotgun.

"Oh, hey Doom, you seen a guy from an anime, kinda tall, black hair?" Shiffna asked. In one rare moment, Doom Guy responded.

"Itachi Uchiha, right? Uh, I think he's in Super Hell," Doom Guy responded.

"I… I thought he only qualified for Hell?" Shiffna asked.

"I think he's just checking out the bar," Doom Guy responded once again.

"Okay, thanks!" Shiffna walked off in a random direction, presumably the direction of Super Hell.

0-0-0-0-0

Shiffna was taking an awfully long time to get back, so everyone dispersed and mingled about the cabin. Naruto and Hinata caught Mikoto, Kushina, and Minato up to speed.

"Wait, so you're telling me, the kid who brought us back to life, kidnapped all of you, just so he can run a Truth or Dare game?" Minato asked.

"Yes," Naruto responded.

"And he says it will hopefully get more and more screwed up the longer it goes on?" Kushina asked.

"Yes," Naruto said.

"And there's no way to stop him?" Mikoto asked.

"We don't think so," Naruto said.

"Hm… Well, not if I have anything to say about it!" Minato said and stood up.

"Yeah, I don't think he's gonna let you win. He killed all of us when we were at our strongest," Naruto said.

"He mentioned he has some kind of 'Author's Magic', which according to him means, he can do whatever he wants," Hinata said.

"Well we at least have to try," Minato argued.

"And we need a plan!" Shikamaru yelled from the kitchen.

"Right, a plan as well," Minato said.

"I think we should just wait it out. We don't know what this guy has," Ino said.

"So… now I'm interested… what has happened? Is this the first or second session?" Kushina asked.

"Second. This is the second session. So far, I've fought a giant man, squid, bat hybrid thing with mind powers, Hinata pumped herself, Neji, and Sasuke full of helium, Choji had an eating contest with a pink ball, Sai jumped off a cliff, Ino was turned into a chicken, and Sakura was banned from hitting me," Naruto summarized.

"Well that's not _too_ bad," Kushina said.

"Uh, four of us went to Super Hell?" Ino asked, indicating Kushina's comment.

"Wait, what's this Super Hell place?" Minato asked.

"Um, I think Shiffna said it was like Hell on steroids and shrooms all at once," Hinata muttered.

"He never once said that," Sakura said. "It's a place that Shiffna is borrowing from this guy named Ted, if you don't comply with a dare or truth, you're sent there, or if you die," Sakura summed up.

"Wait, now there's a Ted, who's he?" Mikoto asked.

"Apparently he's the one Shiffna got the idea from," Naruto said. "By the way, if you ever end up in Super Hell, the bar isn't that bad," Naruto said.

"Wait, there are two of them?" Minato asked.

"Actually, a lot more than two of them according to Shiffna," Shikamaru said.

"Well still, everything that's happened before doesn't sound _too_ bad," Kushina said.

"Well, that's mostly because it's only been one person so far. We're just waiting for them to get worse," Hinata said. Minato sat back down and put a hand on his chin.

"Well, it still doesn't matter. We need to kill hi-"

"Can you please drop it? We get it Minato, you guys need to kill me," Shiffna said. He closed the portal to Hell, Itachi behind him, both drenched in blood and guts. As everyone stared at them in horror, Shiffna put up a finger.

"Okay, in my defense, I underestimated the demons of Hell, thank God we had Doom Guy to help us," Shiffna said. Snapping, Shiffna cut to the chase.

"Alright, let's get things started! So, I know you guys have heard the rules," Shiffna said, indicating Minato, Kushina, and Mikoto. "But he hasn't," Shiffna referred to Itachi. "But he'll figure things out, let's go!" Shiffna finished, pulling out a stack of notecards.

"Alright, first up, a truth. We're putting Mikoto on the spotlight immediately, Mikoto, how do you feel about Sasuke's path for vengeance?" Shiffna asked.

"P-path for vengeance. What do you mean?" Mikoto asked.

"Well, to sum it up, after Itachi killed you and… I forget your husband's name, he felt he needed to be punished, so he almost killed Sasuke, and ran off to join the Akatsuki, and group of S-Ranked criminals. It awoken Sasuke's Sharingan, and deciding he needed to bring glory back to his clan, went on a path to murder Itachi, which he eventually did, only because Itachi was at a major disadvantage. Did I get anything wrong?" Shiffna asked the brothers. Embarrassed, they both shook their heads no.

"Itachi, why didn't you tell him what happened?" Mikoto asked.

"Shiffna said," Itachi mumbled.

"I guess I can't be mad at you two. I understand why it happened, but I still don't like it," Mikoto said.

"Sorry," both brothers mumbled.

"Alright, moving on. Kushina, you get to beat the shit out of Sakura for all the times she insulted and punched Naruto," Shiffna said. He opened the front door and waved his hand out to it, the setting changing from winter to summer.

"Please fight out there," he said. Sakura ran outside with Kushina on her tail yelling insult after insult.

"Alright, while they do that, let's have Naruto react to the stampede scene from Lion King," Shiffna snapped and the area was turned into a small movie theater, Shiffna sitting on a throne at the top. Clicking play on the iconic scene, it played for a few minutes, before coming to the infamous fall.

"Long live the king," Scar slithered as he swiped at Mufasa's face, causing him to lose his grip and fall into the stampede. Shiffna turned it off and looked at Naruto's face.

"…Was I supposed to feel emotion?" Naruto asked.

"Hm… maybe I should've shown you the whole movie… here, take a disc and watch it tonight," Shiffna tossed Naruto a copy of the movie for him to watch later. "Alright, next, we have another movie dare. Sasuke is gonna dress as Elsa and sing Let it Go from Frozen," Shiffna said, before playing another scene. Both Ender and Kurenai's ears began to bleed and they walked out of the room after the first five notes. At the end of the song, everyone turned to Shiffna with a questioning look on their faces.

"… What, don't look at me, these are all Groundon," Shiffna put his hands up.

"You really want me to sing that?" Sasuke asked.

"Yes. Now, do you want to go to Super Hell?" Shiffna asked.

"…No," Sasuke muttered.

"Good, then let's get you dressed up," Shiffna clapped his hands and suddenly Sasuke was in a dress just like Elsa's, and his hair was longer, let down in a braid, and a very pale kinda blonde.

"You have the song memorized, right?" Shiffna asked, Naruto and some of the others cackling in the background at Sasuke's appearance.

"Yes," Sasuke said, mulling over the parts in his head.

"Good. You start in five, four, three… two… one…" Shiffna held up a thumb as music started to play.

"… The snow glows white on the mountain tonight

Not a footprint to be seen

A kingdom of isolation

And it looks like I'm the queen

The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside

Couldn't keep it in, heaven knows I tried

Don't let them in, don't let them see

Be the good girl you always have to be

Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know,

Well, now they know

Let it go, let it go

Can't hold it back anymore

Let it go, let it go

Turn away and slam the door

I don't care, what they're going to say

Let the storm rage on

The cold never bothered me anyway

It's funny how some distance makes everything seem small

And the fears that control me can't get to me at all

It's time to see what I can do

To test the limits and breakthrough

No right, no wrong, no rules for me

I'm free

Let it go, let it go

Can't hold it back anymore

Let it go, let it go

Turn away and slam the door

I don't care, what they're going to say

Let the storm rage on

Cold never bothered me anyway

My power flurries through the air into the ground

My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around

And one thought crystallizes like an icy blast

I'm never going back; the past is in the past

Let it go, let it go

Can't hold it back anymore

Let it go, let it go

Turn away and slam the door

I don't care, what they're going to say

Let the storm rage on

Cold never bothered me anyway," Sasuke finished and bowed to the whooping, hollering, cackling, whistling, and clapping of everyone.

"Whew, that's going to be a bitch to transcribe. Thanks, Groundon. Anyway, Sasuke, five outta ten. You started to kinda come into the role near the end, but you weren't… as… I honestly don't know how to put it, you weren't as good as you could've been, I guess," Shiffna said. Snapping his fingers, Sasuke was put back to normal and Shiffna continued.

"Anyway, next, Minato's gonna race Sonic. Be right back," Shiffna said. Shiffna opened a portal and stepped through, coming right back out with a blue hedgehog in red racing shoes.

"So, this is what you look like, huh? Never expected you to be so young," Sonic commented.

"Can it, Hedgehog," Shiffna snapped. "Alright, you're gonna race that guy," Shiffna continued, pointing at Minato.

"I'm… I'm going to race an animal?" Minato asked.

"Yup. I honestly don't know how to transcribe a race between you two, so uh, run around the world three times, you two should be able to manage that," Shiffna said.

"Uh, okay?" Sonic said. Minato and Sonic both went outside and lined up before dashing off. Two or three minutes later, Sonic reappeared.

"Hey, so uh, the dude wasn't fast enough to run over the Pacific Ocean… I… I think he might be dead," Sonic said.

"Okay, I'll grab him, you're good to go," Shiffna said, opening another portal for Sonic to step through.

"Uh… thanks?" Sonic said.

"Alright, I'll be right back again, until then, Itachi, you're now a weasel," Shiffna snapped and Itachi became a small, snakelike animal, but he was covered in fur and had four little legs. Shiffna stepped through a portal and right back out, Minato's body held high. Placing him on the ground, Shiffna used his lightning powers to give him a little shock to revive him. Minato popped back up and coughed water out of his lungs.

"You good?" Shiffna asked.

"Yeah, yeah," Minato responded.

"Alright, good, we need you for another thing," Shiffna said before walking outside and yelling at Kushina.

"Hey, that's enough! We need you for something," Shiffna said. Kushina nodded and walked back inside, leaving a broken and bloodied Sakura on the ground.

"Alright, next up, Kushina is going to be dressing Minato into a… maid outfit… oh, wait, Hinata was supposed to fight Dark Matter first… eh, whatever," Shiffna said. "Alright, you two just go somewhere and show us the results when you're done," Shiffna said, indicating Kushina and Minato. Minato and Kushina went into a bathroom and a moment later came back out, Minato dressed in an original black and white maid outfit.

"This is demeaning," He said, before the click of a camera caught his attention. Shiffna was printing out a picture and grinning.

"I'm definitely sending this to Ted and Bob. They may not know who you are, but hopefully, they'll get a kick out of this," he said. Placing it in his back pocket, he pulled out another notecard. "Since we're still focused on Minato, let's have a truth. Minato, which of Naruto's kids do you like the most?" Shiffna asked.

"Himawari, hands down. I realize I should say 'Oh, I love both my grandkids the same', but Boruto's going through his teenage years, Naruto's been a terrible father to both of them, but Himawari is still innocent and cute. She's my favorite," Minato said.

"Damn Dad, that's… that's kinda harsh. But hey, in my defense, I'm Hokage now," Naruto said.

"Well yes, you are, but I still found enough time to be with Kushina before the Nine-Tails Attack," Minato said.

"Dad, I realize that, but Konoha has changed. Everything's different from when you were Hokage. There are so many new things we have to do, and without the threats of Madara, the Akatsuki, or anything else, we can't just focus on Shinobi training, so we have opened many more education options. Then there are things like transportation, budget, and alliances. It's all really overwhelming," Naruto said.

"…Alright, you have a point. My apologies," Minato said.

"Thank you," Naruto said.

"I find it funny that this is kid Naruto, keep in mind, arguing with his dad about how he's Hokage now," Shiffna said to the hypothetical camera watching over the action. "Anyway, let's continue, this is the last one. Hinata, you're gonna have to fight an enemy named Dark Matter from Kirby. I'm going, be honest, I know nothing about this enemy, so, I'm just going to go with what I've seen, which would be the sword variant of him, so, yeah," Shiffna explained. He snapped and suddenly everyone was transported into a watching room, all except for Hinata. She was given a sword and the ability to fly.

"Alright Hinata, your opponent appears in three… two… one," Shiffna pulled a lever and a black orb formed into a mask-wearing samurai it seemed. He wielded a katana and faced Hinata with rage. "Alright… fight!" Shiffna said, and Dark Matter (who I'll be calling DM for the rest of the fight) sent out a line of lasers which Hinata dodged with ease.

Hinata rushed in with her blade singing.

DM knocked her back with an attack of his own, leaving Hinata with nine hits until death.

DM quickly tried to follow up with five lasers.

Hinata dodged three lasers and was left with six hits.

Hinata dashed forward and swung, leaving a gash in DM's armor. They both jumped away and began to stare each other down.

Hinata rushed forward again, but feinted instead of a frontal attack, jumping above him and slashing from above.

DM was knocked backward and fired some lasers from his sword.

DM rushed Hinata as she dodged the lasers and slashed across her chest, causing her to yelp and fly back.

DM rushed in to finish the fight, and in desperation, Hinata throws the sword.

The sword entered into the eye slit of DM's mask and a black, smoky substance began to spill from it. DM folded in on himself and a ball with an eye. Around the eye were little metal petals, the ends being sharpened.

The petals retracted for a moment and suddenly shot out at high speeds. Hinata had no chance to dodge all of them and screamed as the last of her health was taken away. She lost her ability to fly and plummeted to the ground, hitting it with a sickening _smack_. As the room erupted into screams, Shiffna cringed and chuckled to himself.

"Oh… oh ho ho damn! Oh, that's gonna be a bitch in the morning for her!" He said. Shiffna snapped again and everyone was teleported back to the main lobby. "Alright, you're all good to return to your rooms. Our newly arrived guests, we have rooms set up for you. I'll see you all next time," Shiffna said before walking into the kitchen. He opened the fridge and poured himself a cup of apple juice. He then turned to the camera again.

"I'm not good at outros. Just know that most everybody won't be getting much sleep tonight. Alright, so, that ends this chapter. Now, I'll begin to implement the dimension-hopping. We can go anywhere in the multiverse you guys want, and by you guys, I mean Groundon unless somebody other than him will step up. Not trying to disrespect you Groundon, but these chapters are gonna be so short if you're the only one reviewing. But, I digress, I'll see you guys later," Shiffna said, and with that, we cut to the next segment.

0-0-0-0-0

Hinata stumbled into the bar in Super Hell, where business was slower than usual. Pit was behind the counter cleaning glasses when he saw Hinata walked in.

"You okay? You look like you fell to death," Pit pointed out.

"I did," Hinata said as she slumped into a seat at the bar.

"How?" Pit asked.

"Fighting something called Dark Matter," Hinata said.

"Oh, I've heard of that guy… thing… whatever it is. Kirby told me about him," Pit said. "Anyway, do you want a drink?" Pit asked. "And something to eat?" he continued.

"I'll just have a small thing of… angel wings?" Hinata asked.

"*sigh*… hang on, I'll be right back," Pit said. He went into the kitchen and a moment later a yelp of pain came from him. When he came back out, it looked like his wings had just freshly grown back and in a small basket were two delicious looking, perfectly brown wings.

"Uh… are… are you okay?" Hinata asked.

"Oh yeah, totally. It's just a minor annoyance now," Pit said.

**Alright, that's it, that's the end. The Hinata v. Dark Matter fight took too long for me for some reason. Alright, anyway, as I said, unless someone decides to step up, Groundon is choosing where we go next time. I should say, and I don't know if this helps, but any dares and truths are welcome. Alright, now come on; let's get some more people, eh? Alright, no, I sound like a conceited ass. Alright, whatever, talk to you guys later. Peace!**


	4. I Will Not Copypasta Smut

**Oh God, I haven't updated this fic since the Mesozoic Era. Actually, scratch that, I haven't updated ****_any _****of my fics since the Mesozoic Era. But, I'll be working on that. I decided to do this fic first, since, well, I love writing these things. Remember, Groundon right now is the only one sending in Truths and Dares, but I'm open to anything. Alright, whatever, let's get through this. **

**Wait wait wait, one thing though. I will not copypasta smut. First off, I'm not going to copypasta someone else's work in the first place, second off, I ain't going to explicitly throw smut at you. Whoever's reading, you can blame Groundon for that Dare. Alright, ****_now_**** here we go.**

It had been months since Shiffna had last been seen in the cabin. So long, neither Ender nor Kurenai knew where he was, despite having constant communication with him. Their only response was 'he just hasn't been responding'. The Naruto cast was… mildly worried, but decided to let it go since they got off of having sessions. Until one day, a song began to play through the cabin. It was actually really quiet and peaceful, and it sounded like it was played while it was raining and behind a door (Frank Sinatra Fly Me to the Moon but it's muffled and it's raining on YT BTW). The Naruto cast slowly got up, the music soothing them. But when they were taking too long, it switched to something. The bass-boosted Soviet National Anthem struck yet again. Ender came down first to find Shiffna, beaming behind his mask.

"First off, glad you're back. Second off, fuck you," Ender said before yawning and walking into the kitchen to make breakfast.

"Good to see you too," Shiffna said before the rest of the Naruto cast arrived downstairs. "Helloooooooooo! I'm back! Did ya miss me?" Shiffna asked, before being met with a resounding "NO!" Shiffna beamed even brighter under his mask before pulling out the stack of notecards. "Well, we still have a session to do, do we not?" Shiffna said. "First, I have to grab somebody, like always. Groundon, thanks for making me spoil Fairy Tale. I watched one episode. Well, I mean, I guess I didn't spoil that much… y' know what, never mind," Shiffna said before opening a portal and stepping through. He came back out a moment later with a girl with light blue hair. She wore a Soviet-style hat with white fur lining, as well as wrapping around her shoulders, again with white fur lining. She wore a blue leotard (I think? I dunno, Google Images ain't giving me much) with white fur cuffs and lighter blue lines going down it. She also had dark blue eyes.

"What the… where am I?" She asked, looking at the strange cast of characters before her.

"Hi. I'm the one who brought you here. I only need you for a moment though, and then you can return to your world," Shiffna said. Pulling the notecards back out, he cleared his throat. "Hinata, you have to catfight Juvia here… how the hell am I supposed to transcribe this? How do I decide who wins wait wait wait hold the hell up, author me! Why wasn't I told about this dare?" Listen, man, I got no clue how I'm going to do this either, just go with it. "Wow, you're no help, are ya?" Shiffna muttered. "Alright, let's do this," Shiffna snapped and suddenly Hinata and Juvia were cats in a small arena. Seriously? "Hey, Groundon wants comedy, he's getting comedy!" Shiffna yelled at the sky. Okay, we should probably stop changing our lore on the whim. Like, at first there was just you, now there's me and- "Then stop talking!" Shiffna yelled. Ah, right, yes. "Alright, here, let me set some ground rules. The first one pushed out of the circle, loses. Got it?" Shiffna asked. Hinata and Juvia nodded, and then faced each other, settling into their new cat bodies. "Alright, aaaaaaand… go!" Hinata and Juvia launched at each other and swiped. Hinata dodged Juvia's attack and Juvia slid backward, almost to the line. Hinata rushed forwards and ram into Juvia, but was sent flying out of the circle by a sidestep. "Well, that was anticlimactic," Shiffna said. Changing them both back to human form, Juvia stood up. "Thanks. I'm surprised at how little you asked questions," Shiffna said, opening a portal for Juvia to step through.

"Eh, I've seen crazier," Juvia shrugged before walking through the portal.

"Hm, okay then," Shiffna shrugged, before looking at the next Dare. "Next… oh Goddammit, I thought this was the third one. Alright, whatever," Shiffna made a paper materialize into his hand. "Kushina, you need to read this FanFiction shipping you and Naruto. I know, weird, but, I did say Groundon could do whatever he wanted," Kushina reluctantly took the paper and skimmed it. "Wait, wait, before you start reading, warning, that is absolute cringe. I've already read it to make sure it's not smut, but it's still cringe. So let me do this," Shiffna said, before snapping himself into an older version of himself. He pulled down his mask, materialized a bottle of Vodka, and started chugging it down. He eventually passed out in a stupor on the floor. Kushina read the entire thing, cringing the entire time. Naruto also cringed, mostly because of the grammar, the scenes, and how he acted. Despite the fact he never would've acted like that. After everyone's ears had bled and the reading was done, Ender walked over to Shiffna, summoned a thin staff of stone, and smashed it over Shiffna's face.

"OW FUCK!" Shiffna yelled, jumping up and holding his nose. Ender started cackling and Shiffna stared him down. Snapping three times, Shiffna aged himself down, cured his hangover, and fixed his broken nose, taking the pain away. Pulling the notecards back out, Shiffna continued. "Now that that's over, the next dare is for Naruto," Shiffna tossed Naruto a tank of helium. "You get to pump Sasuke full of helium. Have fun," Naruto laughed and looked at Sasuke, who groaned. While Naruto was busy, Shiffna thought to himself.

"Has anyone been to Super Hell recently? I'm gonna send some people to Super Hell," he muttered to himself before snapping. All of a sudden, Minato, Ino, Shikamaru, Shino, and Kiba were sucked into the Earth, down into the Super Hell. "Oh, wait, shit, I need them all for something. I'll send 'em down later," Shiffna said, before snapping again. The others all reappeared again, confused and relieved. Naruto was still laughing at Sasuke, who was now on top of the roof. Slowly, a sound like air releasing from a balloon came from Sasuke and he began to float back down. Naruto laughed even harder, holding his sides.

"Alright Naruto cast, what were the most embarrassing parts of your lives?" Shiffna asked. "Actually, y' know what. Naruto, Rock Lee, Sasuke, and Sakura, what were the most embarrassing moments of your lives? Doing all of you is too much," Shiffna said.

"Ummmmm… I think it's the time I was defending Rock Lee from the girls because he fell into their part of the bathhouse and Sakura found her bra clipped onto my towel," Naruto said, his face reddening.

"That was my most embarrassing moment as well," Rock lee muttered.

"This," Sasuke said, his voice still an octave higher than normal.

"Um… when I passed out because I thought Kakashi killed Sasuke during our first training mission," Sakura said.

"You still remember that?" Kakashi asked.

"You're still here? I thought you would've found a way out by now considering we've had no dares for you," Shiffna said.

"Trust me, I've tried," Kakashi said. Shiffna looked off into space for a moment with his eyes glazed over. Ender face palmed while Kurenai explained.

"Don't say 'Trust me' around him anymore, it brings back… memories for him," Kurenai explained.

"Traumatic ones at that," Shiffna said, snapping back to reality. "Anyway, Minato, you're now a kitten," Shiffna snapped and suddenly, there was a blonde kitten in place of Minato.

"Awwwww, sweetie you look so cute," Kushina said, picking up the cat.

"Mrow?" Minato said.

"Actually, he does look pretty cute. Didn't know I was able to do that," Shiffna commented. "Alright, anyway, next up… damn, you're dead set on having these elders beat up, aren't you Groundon? Alright, whatever, but we're gonna kill 'em so you can't dare this anymore," Shiffna said. "Mikoto, Itachi, you two are gonna beat up the Konoha Elders," Shiffna said.

"Um, I already killed Danzo, soooo?" Sasuke trailed off before Shiffna could snap his fingers.

"He doesn't count," Shiffna said, and then he snapped. The two elders appeared, confused. They looked around their surroundings and noticed Itachi and Mikoto immediately.

"You two… you should be dead!" One of the elders said (I can't remember their names, sue me).

"Maybe. But we're not," Itachi said, before using his Sharingan on one of them. Mikoto punched the other, snapping their neck immediately. "I'll kill her when the Genjutsu's done," Itachi said.

"Good, it was fast. Sorry if that didn't satisfy you Groundon, I know barely anything about those two. Anyway, you're all free to go do whatever you want until the next session!" Shiffna said. He then snapped, sending Ino, Shikamaru, Shino, and Kiba to Super Hell. This time, everyone noticed.

"What the heck!?" Sakura yelled.

"Why'd you send them to Super Hell?" Hinata asked.

"Eh, nobody's been there in a while," Shiffna shrugged, before opening a portal and stepping through.

0-0-0-0-0

Shiffna stepped into the bar, carrying a bottle of alcohol and a glass cup. Pit was behind the bar, like always, serving drinks to the patrons of the dive bar. Shiffna came up and sat next to Shikamaru, who noticed him immediately.

"What the hell?" Shikamaru asked, staring Shiffna down.

"Look, nobody's been down here for a while. I snapped and you all were randomly chosen," Shiffna explained. Shiffna then rapped his knuckle on the counter three times, catching Pit's attention. Pit gulped and walked over.

"H-hey Shiffna, what are you d-doing here?" Pit asked, wiping down a glass. Placing the alcohol and glass on the counter, Shiffna stood.

"Came here to deliver this for you. Sorry about what happened to Smash Town," Shiffna said. He opened a portal and almost stepped through.

"Wait! I can't drink alcohol," Pit said.

"Just drink it. It'll help with the pain… I think… I dunno. Drink it or let it go to waste, I don't care, just thought I'd say sorry," Shiffna said.

"W-well how do you even know what happened to Smash Town?" Pit asked.

"Simple, cause I read what Bob and Ted write," Shiffna said, before stepping through the portal.

**Maybe I shouldn't be intersecting the Insane's lore with mine. Then again, I am using Super Hell, and Pit's a bartend there currently… eh, I think it'll be fine. Tried to make the ending somber, I do feel bad for Pit. But, anyway, next time, we will be going somewhere. I meant for us to go somewhere this session but completely forgot. Stay safe and wash your hands.**


	5. I (Kinda) Copypasta'd Smut (Re-Upload)

**Hello, I'm back already! I have to be back now that I know nobody other than Groundon's gonna be reviewing and that I got my phone and Xbox taken away cuz my little brother is a shit eating, fly swallowing, mud wallowing, piece of bastardized human waste of air!**

**"Okay, sorry, just had to get that out there. I put a hole in my fucking wall cuz my brother wouldn't stop bothering me to come see this scene in Legend of Korra despite me having not even finished Avatar because my brother's an overachieving, golden student, pride of the family person and I'm a fat lazy piece of dog shit garbage.**

**My self-esteem's through the fucking roof right now. Alright, enjoy the show. I don't know if I'm gonna write myself upbeat or not this time.**

The figure… Shiffna, me, of course, jumped from rooftop to rooftop in Smash Town, staying out of sight of the supposedly still conscious Smashers and other residents. He was unsure of that, because they were frozen like brick (except for Pit, working his bartend job. Poor kid). Still, he ventured on above them, before finally making it to the Smash Mansion. Creeping inside, he checked a map on the wall and ran down into the basement. While the upstairs was a cozy residential area, the basement of Smash Mansion was like a cold, underground lab, except it wasn't used for evil. Some storage areas sprinkled about, gyms, obstacle course, that sort of thing, anything to keep the Smashers ready for battle at a moment's notice. Well, not a moment's notice, but you get the idea. There were also some gardens and a farm down here, so in case of a world-wide emergency that even the Smashers can't handle, like zombies, they could self-sustain for who knows how long down here. Finally, Shiffna made it to what he has now dubbed the control room. It was a room split into three. One room was the teleportation room. It took Smashers to the specific arenas that they would be fighting in. It also allowed them to quickly change outfits depending on what they felt like wearing that match. The next room was the actual control room. It was where the Smashers picked stages and rules, as well as if they wanted Items, Stocks, or Stamina. The final room was a small viewing area. Here, the people that would normally control the control room and stuff could watch the match. Walking into the control room, Shiffna pulled out a knife from the portal beside him. He used it to pry open the keyboard on the main control dash and stabbed it in. After a few seconds, he disabled the system that made the teleporters go to the stage version of that area and directly to the true area itself. Shiffna set a timer and hopped into one of the teleportation tubes. It transported him directly to the Great Plateau Tower. After looking out at the freed Hyrule Castle, Shiffna opened a portal back to the cabin and stepped through. The Naruto cast was all ready to go. The Apex cast (I was gonna do a ToD with them, but I don't think it's gonna take off) were up and eating. The Legends eyed Shiffna warily but he just smiled.

"So, I finally did it. We're finally getting out of this God forsaken cabin. I know some of you were probably getting sick of this constantly being our session location," Shiffna said.

"We could honestly care less," Minato replied.

"Of course you could," Shiffna muttered. "Well, whatever, get in the portal," Shiffna stepped aside and waved his arms to the portal. Warily, the Naruto cast stepped inside.

"Ooh, ooh, kid, can I come too?" piped up a voice form the back. Octane hobbled over on one leg before sticking it back on. "I'd love to go to a new world," Shiffna paused for a moment before shrugging.  
"I honestly don't give a shit. You're welcome to come if you like. They got some bad-ass tech and good hunting grounds out there," Shiffna stepped through the portal, pretending not to notice Crypto and Bloodhound staring at him.

"That was directed at us, wasn't it?" Crypto asked the Hunter.

"I would assume Felagi Fighter," Bloodhound said, before going back to sharpening their blade.

"Well, he has my attention," Wattson said before going to walk to the portal.

"You sure that's a good idea Nat?" Mirage asked.

"To see new technology it is a risk I'm willing to take," Wattson replied.

"Well, then I will accompany you Ms. Paquette," Caustic said as he stood.

"The call of the Hunt guides me. I shall go as well," Bloodhound said as they stood.

"Hoh hoh hoh, you know I'm going," Octane said. "What about you Senor Loincloth?" Octane asked.

"Maybe I can find something to kill," Revenant said before chuckling darkly.

"And I'm comin' too, to keep yuh alive, Silva," Lifeline said, beckoning D.O.C.

"Heh, alright Chica, no need to get mad over it," Octane said. Eventually, all the Legends agreed to come, for one reason or the other.  
0-0-0-0-0  
Shiffna heard a sound at the top of Tower and smiled up at the Legends coming through./span/p

"Here's your next challenge! Try getting down!" Shiffna called up to them. Bloodhound immediately jumped and rolled as they hit the ground. Caustic used one of his Gas Traps to float down… somehow. Revenant used Shadow Form, shot himself, and then reappeared behind Naruto.

"Boo," Naruto jumped almost high enough to reach the Tower again. The others climbed down like normal people.

"Alright Legends, I have no need for you, so, go have fun or something. Happy Hunting," Shiffna said, before turning around to address the Naruto cast and the cameras. "Sorry for that ridiculously long intro. Having the part with the Legends may have been pointless, but they were there, so; why not use them, eh? Anyway, let's get on with it, yeah? Alright, first dare…" Shiffna pulled a stack of notecards out of his back pocket. "Sakura! We're gonna start off with you!" Spawning a tank of helium with two hoses and a pump, Shiffna tossed it to her. "Inflate Minato and Kushina with that," Shiffna said. Sakura smiled and nodded her head yes. "Oh, by the way, Minato, you're a Pikachu now," Shiffna snapped his fingers and the Yellow Flash became a Yellow Rat. Minato protested this with a simple "Pika!" although Shiffna was already moving on. "Naruto, your turn… actually, y'know what, I haven't actually finished Naruto, Hell, I'm not even on Shippuden, a lot of my info comes from the Wiki and random YouTube clips I saw once, so, we'll just skip that," Shiffna said. Flipping to the next notecard, Shiffna groaned.

"Blegh, I forgot about this. Alright, Naruto, Sasuke, react to this. This time, it's lemon. I need a reaction I can actually put into writing that would be more impactful," Shiffna said, materializing a paper in his hand.

"What does lemon mean?" Naruto asked as Sasuke took the paper.

"You'll figure it out," Shiffna reassured. Not even bothering to change form this time, Shiffna took out a flask and took a swig. "You don't know how deep I had to go to find this and I regret going this deep," Shiffna said. "Well, one of you, please, read the summary for us," Shiffna said. Sasuke confusedly looked at Shiffna before looking at the summary.

"Sasuke is a top-class bread maker invited to the set of Japan's number one culinary show where he meets the infamous – and deliciously sinful…?" Sasuke looked up to Shiffna, who gestured for them to keep going. He then threw his flask behind him, and somehow, somewhere, he hit Wattson in the back of her head with enough force to knock her out. "And deliciously sinful- pastry chef, Uzumaki Naruto… I don't like where this is going already," Sasuke said.

"There's no way that's what it says, let me see!" Naruto ripped the paper from Sasuke's hands before quickly reading the warning. "Warning: Lots of-"

"I'm gonna stop ya right there. One, I don't want to write that, and two, I don't want to spoil the surprise," Shiffna said.

"Blegh, I already read it in my head," Naruto said.

"Do we seriously have to read all of this?" Sasuke asked.

"Think of it like ripping off a Band-Aid, the more you complain, the longer it takes. Oh, by the way, since I am pulling directly from the story for this little bit, the author is catharticdeficit. I didn't give credit last time because I didn't write anything directly from the story, so, yeah," Shiffna said. "And y'know what, I think I should play with my surroundings a bit more. Let's go to someone who I think would appreciate a story such as this," Shiffna said, before snapping his fingers. The cast appeared on and Shiffna immediately appeared on Vah Ruta, where they found Crypto and Wattson, cowering behind Crypto, standing in front of Mipha's Ghost… Spirit… Mipha.

"Hah, I knew you two would go for a Divine Beast! Good choice, Vah Ruta was my favorite to take back from Ganon," Shiffna said.

"You're not Link though," Mipha said.

"I'm not getting into the specifics with you. But, I'll get into the basics. I'm 14shiffna, I'm running a Truth or Dare game with these lovely people and I wanted to know if you would like to hear two of our very own read a story involving them," Shiffna asked.

"Well, I do love stories," Mipha said.

"Oh, and Wattson, she's not gonna hurt you. Mipha's like, the kindest out of the… what were you guys, the Guardians or something?" Shiffna asked.

"Champions?" Mipha asked.

"Ah, yes! Champions!" Shiffna proclaimed. "Yeah, well, she's like, the kindest out of the Champions, so, no need to cower behind your boyfriend," Shiffna said. Crypto looked away while Wattson jumped out.

"He is not my boyfriend," Wattson said, crossing her arms.

"Yeah, sure he isn't. Alright, whatever, you two are welcome to stay if you wish, Sasuke, Naruto, get on with it please," Shiffna said. Sasuke sighed then turned to Naruto.

"Okay, here's how we'll do this. Whenever I say something in the story, I'll say it, and vice versa. We'll also alternate paragraphs. Alright?" Sasuke asked.

"I got it, I got it!" Naruto said.

"Here goes nothing then," Sasuke sighed. They began on an adventure that they didn't realize was just shy of 10,000 words and that the author didn't even bother reading through all of it, he just found something Rated M and made them read it. Although, the continuous reddening of the boys faces, as well as those around them experiencing second hand embarrassment, was priceless. Shiffna couldn't help but cackle as the fic went on and on. Or maybe he just let down the barriers that disallowed him to get drunk and was cackling because of that. Wattson and Crypto tried to tend to their own work but couldn't help but chuckle every once in a while. Mipha was quiet, wondering why these strangely dressed people were here. The other two, the Crypto and Wattson, she understood why they were here, and let them study Vah Ruta. But these other ones… she couldn't wrap her head around it. Although, it was pretty funny watching their faces grow red over the reading, even though she herself could feel her face reddening from second hand embarrassment. Finally, Sasuke crumpled up the paper and threw it behind him.

"There! We're done!" Sasuke said. As he slowly began to reclaim cool and calm demeanor, Shiffna held out a flask to Sasuke and Naruto. Naruto began chugging his while Sasuke threw his off the elephant. Shiffna sobered himself then turned to Mipha.

"Well?" He asked.

"It was well-written; I'll give the author that. I just don't understand how someone could write something like that?" Mipha asked.

"Creativity is one hell of a drug. Combine that drug with not giving a shit, you get a very dangerous, volatile, and explosive mixture," Shiffna said. "Crypto, Wattson, how'd you two like it?" That was enough to send the two Legends over the edge. They both started cracking up, holding onto each other to stay up. "That's what I thought," Shiffna said. "Well, we have one more dare, so let's go somewhere else. Pleasure meeting you Mipha," Shiffna said, before snapping his fingers and teleporting the cast and himself somewhere else. Now in the ruins of the coronation area, where Link became Zelda's appointed knight, right outside Hyrule Castle, the Naruto cast now stood. Shiffna sat on one of the pillars. The forest around them was peaceful.

"Okay, so, I lied. We have one more dare from Groundon then I myself have a few dares for you all. It's for the characters that are barely getting any dares, so Gaara, Kakashi, Shino, Kiba, Rock Lee, and Ten-Ten, you all! But first, Ino, use Mind Transfer Jutsu on Sasuke," Shiffna said.

"Can I just go to Super Hell? I think the embarrassment would be too much for me anyway," Ino asked.

"Alright, your choice," Shiffna said, snapping and opening a portal below her. The hands of the Undead grabbed her and pulled her down quickly, not even allowing her to let loose a scream. "See, I'm not letting her just go to the bar and get a free day, no no no, she's gonna get a punishment akin to actual Hell," Shiffna said. Shiffna then paused a moment before taking out another piece of paper. "Well, in other news, it looks like I gave you two the wrong fic. Well, no matter, the original is fucked up anyway, a review basically summarized it," Shiffna asked.

"I'm gonna regret asking, but how fucked up?" Naruto asked.

"Well, let's see, Naruto is a stalker because he saw Sasuke at a lecture once, filed a lawsuit against Sasuke because of… sex, I guess? Naruto's also a cocky obnoxious brat, Sasuke is Sasuke despite the Uchiha Massacre having not occurred so his personality shouldn't be like this at all, and I quote, 'I was also bothered by Naruto tying Sasuke up so he wouldn't leave. He also called it his "reward" to fuck Sasuke'… maybe I _should've_ read through this all the way. Welp, good thing my dumbass gave you two the wrong one, right?" Shiffna smiled under his mask. The circle was quiet before Naruto yelled.

"I wouldn't do that, what the Hell!" He screeched.

"That story sounds like a dumpster fire," Sasuke said as he slapped his forehead so hard he left a mark.

"It probably was. It doesn't help people were leaving reviews like that it was "hawt", or "adorable", and shit like that. I actually don't know what's worse. The fact that this guy took time to go in depth like that, or the other reviews. Welp, whatever, I could care less," Shiffna shrugged, throwing the notecard behind him. "Alright, my turn. Kiba, you're first. You have a great nose right?" Shiffna asked.

"I guess, why?" Kiba asked, crossing his arms. It was his first time being given a dare. He didn't want to do it.

"You're gonna race Bloodhound to see who can kill an animal first. I'll teleport you two back here when you're done," Shiffna explained, then snapped twice, once to teleport Bloodhound to him, and the second to immediately tell Bloodhound what they're doing. Bloodhound nodded and readied his axe. "On your marks… get set… GO!" Shiffna brought his arm down and the two raced off, each going their separate ways. "Now, let's switch and watch them before I continue with my dares," Shiffna said, snapping.

0-0-0-0-0

Bloodhound raced off to the Great Plateau, unaware they would not be able to make it up there without a Sheikah Slate. Meanwhile, Kiba rushed off on all fours to the mountains of Necluda, to hunt in and around Kakariko and Hateno. Bloodhound finally made it to the Great Plateau, and before they began scaling it, they estimated the height. Sighing, they sat down a moment to rest. The sun was now setting over the horizon. Surely, their opponent couldn't be hunting already. Deciding to play it safe, Bloodhound stood up and took off again towards a jungle he had seen. Surely, there would be birds or land animals there they could hunt. Meanwhile, Kiba was sniffing around the forests above Kakariko, before heard the squawking of a bird. Crouching down, Kiba slowly moved to the bird. Finally, he pounced, and brought down the bird with one fell swoop of his claw-like nails. Shiffna then snapped and brought the participants back to the circle.

"Welp, Kiba, you have won!" Shiffna said. Kiba smiled and held up the bird he had caught. "Bloodhound, if you were just a little quicker, you'd have beaten Kiba. Welp, my apologies, but, down to Super Hell you go. Oh, and by the way, you can take off your mask down there since technically down there you're dead! So, taking off your mask won't cause you to die or anything. Check out the bar down there, Pit's a pretty good mixer," Shiffna said before opening a portal beneath the legendary Hunter. Bloodhound used his axe to anchor himself to the ground before the hands multiplied. Eventually, he lost grip of Raven's Bite and plunged into the fiery portal. Shiffna picked up Raven's Bite, summoned a backpack, and placed the axe in it. "I'll give that back to him later. Anyway, Kakashi, we're gonna have you fight someone. That someone is a Hinox," Shiffna explained, before snapping the group away. Kakashi was placed inside a little coliseum of sorts. At the other end, his sleeping opponent lay. The opponent awoke with a start and opened its one, big, yellow eye. It stared down Kakashi and stood up, the teeth and bones of smaller enemies clacking on the rope around its neck. Its skin was red and Kakashi was unsure if that was natural or not. Readying two kunai in each of his hands, Kakashi dashed onto the back of the Hinox. Before he could plunge the kunai deep into the monsters eye however, the Hinox roared and threw Kakashi. He lost his kunai and hit the back wall. As he got up, he noticed two bombs flying his way. He jumped to the side and –propelled by the explosion- slammed into the other wall.

"Alright, guess I'll try something stronger," he muttered. Kakashi's hands were a blur as he did the hand signs for his Lightning Blade move, the weaker Chidori. Once lightning filled the palm of his hand, he raced forward with such speed the Hinox couldn't keep up. His hand plunged deep into the Hinox's chest, and a cry of pain let loose from it before he disappeared in a cloud of purple smoke. Kakashi wiped off his hand on the ground, getting rid of all the gunk before using Fireball Jutsu to burn the assorted guts, bones, and weapons left over by the Hinox.

"Alright, I think that's a good enough stopping point. Gosh, this chapter's gonna be long. Longer than usual I should say, not super long, about 3,000 words. But, hey, I'm just the transcriber. Anyway, Groundon, if you feel like it, leave a place for us to go next time. Anyway, I'm gonna head out, but we're gonna focus on the Legends for a bit, watch them wrap stuff up. Alright, bye!" Shiffna said as he and the rest of the Naruto characters walked through a portal.

0-0-0-0-0

"Woohooooooooo!" Octane had spent the last few hours jumping from the top of a waterfall down into the pool below at Faron. Lifeline had been swimming a bit too, but was now lying out to dry at the bottom. Suddenly, she sat up, having an epiphany.

"Hey Silva!" Lifeline called.

"Yeah Chica?" Octane responded, popping his head out of the pool.

"How we s'pposed to get back to that cabin place, huh?" Lifeline asked.

"I don't know, and I don't care," Octane said as he walked out of the pool.

"Of course yuh don't care, yuh don't care about anything. Yuh saw BH come through here awhile back yeah. They looked worried and rushed about something. Got teleported outta here a few minutes after that," Lifeline said.

"I know, but they were probably needed for something, I dunno. I bet they're fine," Octane said, dismissing it with a wave of his hand.

"Yuh better hope or we'd be outta competition," Lifeline said.

"Pshaw, we got the other Legends Chica, we wouldn't be out of competition," Octane said.

"Alright Silva," Lifeline said before lying back down. "I'm just kinda worried, yuh know? Getting killed by some weird kid, being forced to play a game of his," Lifeline said.

"Eh, I don't think it's nothing. He hasn't done anything to us yet," Octane shrugged.  
"Ah, but there's the key word there. Yet. He hasn't done anything to us, _yet_," Lifeline said.

"Just relax and enjoy the peace and quiet Chica," Octane said before he used to bounce pad to go back to the top of the waterfall. Lifeline sighed and lied back down. Someday, Silva would go down and she wouldn't be able to save him.

0-0-0-0-0

Bangalore and Wraith somehow found themselves in a desert. Somehow. Exploration's sometimes a bitch, isn't it? Trudging through the hot sand, they came across a small shopping area, surrounding a small pond. The small tents there sold all kinds of things. Arrows, melons, cooked and raw bird. Wraith and Bangalore studied the area carefully. This was really the first sign of civilization they saw. Wraith stopped at one of the vendors and talked with them while Bangalore kneeled by the pond and splashed water on her face. The sun was starting to go down ahead of her and she hoped it would cool off tonight. But that probably also meant some poor soul would lose their life tonight, on account of Revenant. Bangalore sighed and shook her head. Nothing she could do about it. Wraith tapped her shoulder.

"Yeah?" Bangalore stood, towering over the skirmisher.

"The vendors say that there's a town down the road. Got some good shops and good bars. Women only too," Wraith explained.

"Heh, sounds like our kind of place, right?" Bangalore asked.

"Maybe yours. I'd rather go somewhere quiet," Wraith said.

"Nah, come on, it'll be fun!" Bangalore said. "Check it out at least, won't ya?" Bangalore asked./span/p

"… Fine, but I'm not staying long if I don't like it," Wraith said.

"Perfectly alright," Bangalore nodded. The two trudged off towards the rocky walls in the distance.

0-0-0-0-0

A Blood Moon had risen that night. The perfect setting for a certain simulacrum. The hitman had been waiting in the mountains for night before he could descend up this peaceful little village called Hateno. He promised to limit himself this time, and snuck down to the village. Stalking through the streets, he found a two story house where the lights in the second story where still on. He chuckled darkly and climbed up above the second story window. He heard muffled speaking inside. He tapped on the glass then retracted his hand. He entered shadow form right as the presumably husband opened the door.

"Hello? Hello?" The man called. No one should be out this late, so who could it be he wondered. Suddenly, he was roughly grabbed by cold metal hands. He began to scream but his throat was slit by Revenant and he was dropped to the ground.

"H-Harry?" The man's wife called.

"Don't worry…" Revenant said as he peeked into the room. "It's all a bad dream…" he continued. The wife picked up a book from the nightstand and threw it at Revenant, a direct hit. He poofed into smoke and she breathed a sigh of relief. Her blood ran cold and her face went white though when Revenant spoke again. "It'll be over soon," he whispered, right into her ear. She screamed for a good few seconds before Revenant snapped her neck and roared. Chuckling, he snuck back out the window, into the cold night air, looking for another victim, only to find the kid who had killed him in his last match. "What do you want?" Revenant asked.

"You've gotten your fill, time to come back," Shiffna said, snapping him away.

0-0-0-0-0

The night was still young for many Legends, Mirage included. Though he wasn't able to get into Gerudo Town like he would've like, there were still other towns with bars he could hang out in. Like Goron Town at Death Mountain. After buying the necessary gear to survive there, he took off towards the bar. There, things were rowdy. Music was playing, Goron were arm-wrestling, downing drinks, just what you'd expect from a race like the Goron. Barely anybody noticed Mirage walk in. The people who did notice were the bartend and the other Goron at the counter.

"Uh, hello. We don't get many Hylians. But you don't look Hylian. Ya don't have the pointy ears," the bartend said. Mirage was dumbfounded for a moment before he laughed.

"Oh, right, not my universe, sorry. I come from a different place and time. I was just looking for somewhere to get a drink," Mirage said.

"Well, I can help you with that. What would you like?" The bartend asked. Mirage looked up at the menu and had trouble deciding what to get. It all was rock and fire related. "Don't let the menu confuse ya, there are drinks that Hylians can drink here. We got a nice blend of milk and some herbs. I'll make it quick for ya, on the house. Just as long as you explain what you mean by you coming from a different time and place," the bartend said.

"No problem, although it's kind of a long story and you probably won't believe," Mirage said.

"Kid, the Hero of the Wild, the one who defeated Calamity Ganon is taking place in a tournament of whole bunches of fighters from all around. Heck, even Ganondorf, the vessel for Calamity Ganon, is there. I'll believe pretty much anything you tell me," said the bartend.

"Heh, alright. By the way, my name Mirage," Said the Trickster.

"I'm Ralak. Pleasure to meet you," said the bartend as he set Mirage's drink in front of him. Mirage took a sip and sighed.

"That is pretty good. Alright, here's the story," Mirage began his tale, pretending not to notice the other patrons stopping what they were doing and leaning in to here. In fact, he talked a little higher than normal so that they could all hear. The band continued to play, but quieter and slower now.

0-0-0-0-0

Wraith carried Bangalore out of the bar, both laughing. They had decided to call it a night and see if they could find an Inn. It seemed clear their captor wasn't going to come pick them up. Bangalore gave one last wave goodbye to the Gerudo ladies and then stood upright. Still staggering a bit, she at least looked presentable. Wraith, while also drunk, hid it better and could operate better as well. She had spotted an Inn on their way to the bar, so she took Bangalore there.

"So, I take it you had fun?" Bangalore asked.

"It was alright," Wraith answered.

"Well, that's good. Don't know how much longer we have until we have one of those sessions. Might as well enjoy it while it lasts," Bangalore said.

"You're not wrong. But I can't help but hope that we won't have one," Wraith said.

"Well, then hope," Bangalore said. They entered the Inn and while Bangalore sat down, Wraith paid for a room. She didn't have much on her. She gave what little she had left that the Inn Keeper found valuable and got a room with two beds. Bangalore flopped onto one and Wraith took the other.

"Let's hope we get to go back to that cabin tomorrow," Wraith said. "There isn't much for us here," She followed up with.

"Yeah, that's fair. But I wouldn't mind staying here another few days," Bangalore said.

"Of course you wouldn't," Wraith scoffed. The two fell asleep quickly, ignoring the red tint of the moon coming through the window.

0-0-0-0-0

The next day, the Legends returned to the cabin. Shiffna was lying on the cabin and sighed when they came through the portal.

"Finally, I can stop writing those scenes. That just turned into an Apex story for a second there. Sorry about that guys. I don't want this to be a crossover fic and it won't become one, but I have the Legends here too, why not use 'em?" Shiffna said with his arm over his eyes. "Anyway, I guess now I'll be seeing you all next time. Oh, and Groundon, the Legends being here and me having dared Bloodhound to do something does not give you permission to dare them. That was probably a one-time thing. The Legends are for the authors in the Apex community to dare. Speaking of which, did Bloodhound appear at any of you guys' places where you all were staying?" Shiffna asked. The Legends looked at each other and all shook their heads no. "Bah, Goddammit," Shiffna snapped his fingers and a fiery red portal opened. The legendary Hunter flew out of it and landed on their back with an "Oof,".

"Hoh hoh hoh that looked like it hurt" Octane said.

"And it did. I will be returning to my quarters," Bloodhound said, walking away with a limp.

"Where'd you send him?" Bangalore asked.

"Super Hell," Shiffna answered simply.

"But why Brudda?" Gibraltar asked.

"He lost to Kiba, that's all," Shiffna said. Rolling off the couch, Shiffna fell into a portal back to his home dimension, effectively ending the conversation.

**Okay, so, that went on longer than it was supposed to, but that's okay. I guess I just got carried away by writing the Legends. I wanted to write some Crypto Wattson fluff (yes, I know, I'm weird), but I decided to cut it off at Wraith and Bangalore (no, not shipping them, I just think they'd be… semi-good friends outside the arena) falling asleep cuz by then it would be getting late and I don't think Crypto and Wattson would stay out super late at night with a blood moon. Or you can just imagine they waited until the moon was normal again then fell asleep on a cliff overlooking Hyrule. Or don't, I dunno, now I'm rambling, anyway, Groundon, unless you don't want to, you get to choose where we're going next time. Buh-bye!**

**Edit: Okay, Christ, I finally fucking fixed it. So sorry about that, I have honestly no clue what happened there with all the code. I deleted the update chapter, everything should be good now. Peace!**


End file.
